(Ir)Reverend Ramblings

Like most people I have a love – hate relationship with technology. I love it when it works and I feel like a complete loser when I can’t figure something out. Luckily for me I am surrounded by many people who can help out and we have a brilliant and readily available computer genius who is, as I say to him …sort of in jest … on “speed dial”. When we have a computer problem at the church we just call Laurie and he sorts us out in no time flat.

I tell you all this because at this time last week I was having computer problems. Turns out it was a defunct webcam that had to be replaced. I wanted it working so that I could connect through Skype to our Syrian family who are currently living in Iraq. We have developed a good friendship through emails and Hassan suggested we should Skype as it is easier to talk when we can see one another. He is right. I have now seen their apartment and I have been able to show them our house. I have introduced them to the other folks who work at the church and last Sunday morning the congregation at our early service got to meet the whole family. On Tuesday our ‘Refugee Team’ was able to spend and hour-and-a-half visiting over Skype and in that conversation we were able to hear their story and learn about their present living conditions.

Technology has been a great asset as we build relationship with this family who are half way around the world and separated in time zones by 7 hours. Through the magic of technology, we can sit and chat with them as if they were in the same room. Amazing.

In our conversations I am learning a great deal from them. The political circumstance and violence that has them fleeing their homeland, some of their favourite foods, what family life and culture is like in Syria, to name just a few things.

They are now observing Ramadan – the Muslim period of fasting and reflection. For this month they fast from eating during the day – from dawn to dusk. They spend time in prayer and reading the Koran. ‘Iftar’, the meal at sundown when they can break the fast, is one longed for during the day as hunger builds. Hassan even sent a couple of photos of some of their delicious looking Syrian food. Ramadan has some parallels to the Christian period of Lent in that it is a time to reflect on how to live a better life and be a better person with a focus on kindness and generosity.

Technology has certainly made the world a smaller place and it is an asset to building relationship and community. If only all people could use it for good and see it as a tool for strengthening who we are as a global community.

Helloooo faithful readers. If you are still there. I know, I know it has been a long time since there was anything new to read but I am back now and eager to get back on to a schedule of writing.

I have been caught up in a difficult decision process. I have been in ministry since I was ordained at the tender age of 25. I seemed, to myself at least, so grown up then; I look at 25 year olds now and think, OMG – still so young! I have spent my entire work-life in ministry. It hasn’t felt so much like work, more a vocation or a life-style choice. I love the church – despite all its foibles and shortcomings. I, as clearly as the next person, know that the church is made up of saints and sinners, well intentioned and short-sighted people. But they are my tribe, my people, my kindred. So, the consideration as to whether to leave fulltime ministry has been wrenching. I have talked about it, reflected on it, considered it from every angle and always ended up in tears.

The reality of my life these days is that my life isn’t entirely my own. My husband, whom I love even more than I love my work and the church, is facing some limitations brought on by aging and he needs more support than I can give him if I am working fulltime. What to do, what to do? The obvious choice is to stop working. So why has that decision been so very difficult? I have talked to my Spiritual Director about it until I am sure she feels like saying “Just do it!” – but being a good Spiritual Director she would never say anything like that.

Part of the struggle for me was the notion that it had to be all or nothing. I could work full time or I could retire and neither option seemed the right one. How relieved I was when my Personnel Minister suggested to me that I look at part-time ministry if both the congregation and my team-mate Kevin were in agreement. I have approached them and they are. Hallelujah. Now we are trying to sort out what part-time ministry will look like for me and how it will be lived out beginning January 2017.

I tell you all this as prelude to reflecting on the difficulty of decisions. I recognize that for me a number of emotions have come into play. Fear – about making the wrong choice. Grief – about losing something that is so important. Anger – that I feel the decision is being forced on my (and yes, I am angry at God for this situation I find myself in and the tough decision I have to make). As well, when I allow myself to experience them, feelings of relief and even anticipation at having a bit more time to pursue other things.

Change is difficult and, even though we are changing everyday and events effect transition and decisions constantly it is still so hard sometimes to make a decision.

The scripture is filled with stories of people who struggled with decisions – Leah, Rebecca, Ruth, Naomi, Esther, Mary, Lydia, Rahab and on and on. I am in good company but that doesn’t make decision-making any easier. I am grateful for the many people who have hung in with me over these last few months as I have struggled my way to discerning God’s next adventure for me. Bring on part-time ministry I think I am ready … or I will be by January!

Like many of you I am stunned and horrified by the tragedy in Fort McMurray. When we hear of such events I think there are two natural human reactions. One is to hold even closer those we love, to look around at those things we treasure, and to think about how we would cope if life events took any of that away.

The other very human reaction is to want to help out. We wonder, “What can we do?” “How can we help?”

On Facebook a number of people have posted a page on what not to do and what not to send. The premise is that when tragedy strikes many people want to send supplies – clothing, bedding, material things, in the hope it will help people get back on their feet. The reality is that if your house has burned to the ground you have no place to put bedding and clothing. A friend posted the page and remembered the time when her own house burned to the ground. She said people were incredibly generous with stuff but it was overwhelming and she felt burdened with things that had been given from a generous heart but, in fact, made her situation harder to cope with.

So, what do we do? Well, money always helps, people can buy what they need. The United Church of Canada, the Red Cross and, I am sure, many other agencies have set up means to give donations to the people of Fort McMurray. The city and its citizens will be years recovering from this out-of-control fire. The heartache that will overwhelm people when they can finally go home is incomprehensible.

The United Church has put on its web page a prayer for the people of Fort McMurray. I include it here. May it be our prayer.

God of our ancestors,
in a world where chaos and ruin are as close as the wind,
where fires rage out of control in Fort McMurray destroying homes, businesses, and livelihoods;
Help us to find strength and courage from the stories of those who took refuge in you during their times of trial and despair.

And so with the psalmist who cried laments,
we pray for all who are in need of food, shelter, and healing…

With the exiled people,
we pray for the tens of thousands of people evacuated and those who have lost their homes, churches, community centres, playgrounds and workplaces…

With the disciples,
we pray and give thanks for the emergency responders and all those who provide moments of generosity, healing, and human kindness…

With our companions in Christ,
we pray for the ministry and people of First United Church in Fort McMurray.

In a world where safety and security can be fleeting,
where people cry out in grief, seeking rest and comfort,
Bind us together in your love as we pray the prayer of Jesus…

I drove home from a meeting last night at about 9:30. The sky was an inky blue-black. There was enough of a cloud cover that the stars were not too visible but the big full moon hung high in the sky and cast a beautiful glow over the landscape. As we have had several days of warm temperatures and bright sun spring is pressing and it is possible to smell the earth as it melts and wakens.

My favourite signal for the shifting season is the sound that permeates the air when near a swamp or wetland. Yes, I am talking Spring Peepers. Their chirping and singing is the best sound of the season for me. They herald the warmth and the fecundity of this time of year. Spring peepers offer a chorus unlike any other and so last night, as I drove home, I rolled down my window and soaked in their sound.

The Spring Peeper frog grows to only about 1.5 inches but what they lack in size they make up for in volume. Like many things in nature their non-descript appearance belies the impact brought with their song. Tomorrow is Earth Day and many will be celebrating the wonder and beauty of the earth. I start by saying “Hurray” for Spring Peepers.

On January 28th I excitedly emailed the folks on our Syrian Refugee Team to say, “We’ve been matched.” That was January 28th. It is now April 7th. That means 70 days have passed. 70 days may not seem like much when you are busy with the day-to-day but when you are living in a room with your wife and infant daughter waiting to get word that you can be interviewed to come to Canada, it is beyond forever.

I am in regular email contact with the family we have been matched with. At first the excitement coming in the emails was palpable. He keenly read the Bracebridge web page and our Syrian Refuge Webpage. He said in one email, “I am already there in my heart.” When his emails slowed down I wrote to make sure he was okay. He said, “I am trying not to think about Canada. It just makes me tired.” His last email spoke of his frustration and anger. He said, “Life for us is very hard.”

My heart aches for them and, while grateful for all our government has done to welcome refugees, I am feeling very frustrated at what now feels slower than a snail’s crawl to bring in the families. Did the first piece of work just make for a great photo-op? I hate to sound so jaded and suspicious but I am really worried for the safety of so many refugees who were given hope and now find them selves stuck in red-tape limbo while their sponsoring families sit here with accommodation, furnishings and dreams all stored and ready for these new Canadians.

We are doing what we can. This weekend we will start a letter-campaign to the government but it seems like such a feeble effort against the struggle and terror that so many refugees are facing. So I find myself praying for them, praying at anytime of the day or night, praying that they will be safe, praying that they will be granted travel documents soon, praying that before too long we will meet them face-to-face. Will you pray with me? Please?

Yes, yes, dear readers I know that the days have passed and I have not written. You would think that the fertile time of Holy Week, Good Friday and Easter would have provided lots of opportunity for writing but alas, nothing profound came to me to put on my blog. Until today! I’ve been ruminating. Simple words and comments often have big impact.

On Sunday morning, during our “Faith Trek” time with the kids (in some places they still call this Sunday School but many churches, like ours, have come up with catchy names to avoid the S word i.e. school) we talked and talked about the Easter story. We had Easter eggs and we read and told the story of the women coming to the tomb to anoint the body only to find it empty. We were using a kid-friendly version of the story. The language was a little simpler but the concept still mystifying. It said the angels were dressed in “shiny clothes”. It said the women ran and told the disciples that they heard that Jesus was risen. IT said the disciples responded, “Nonsense.”

After some games and a few more chocolate eggs I asked each child what was his or her favourite part of the Easter story. Some said it was that the tomb was empty. Some said the part that said Jesus was alive. Some said that they especially liked the part about the angels and their “shiny clothes”. The last child I asked said. “I liked the word, ‘Nonsense.” Well, that cracked me up. Yes, indeed, what could be a better word, or a more lasting word, when reconciling the Easter story than the word, “Nonsense.” For it does feel like nonsense to many and yet it is a story that changed the world.

I love that Easter story and that the followers of Jesus were mystified by what had happened to their friend and mentor. Even though they believed great things about him they were still stunned and disbelieving when it all happened. I find that in my own faith walk. I have faith but often in the midst of crisis or challenge I cannot believe that God is working things out in my actions and my words. It is often only after the fact and when I look back I can see that the Spirit was in the midst of all that was happening and that goodness was working its way through my faltering stumbling activity.

What seemed like nonsense became the foundation for the followers of Jesus and they began a way of belief and pattern of life that has impacted the world for 2000 years. It may have felt like nonsense at the time but it has come to be a truth to live by.

When we were in Ireland we had a terrific tour guide. He was an Irish man through and through. He talked non-stop often telling long rambling stories about his family and his upbringing, this to give us a glimpse into Irish life. Several times, on our night’s outing he drank too much and his rambling chatter got even more imaginative! But he had a sensitive and tender side too and could be as quickly moved to tears as to giggles.

He gave me a book, a very lovely book, as a gift. Anam cara is by best-selling Irish poet and author John O’Donohue. I have been reading through the book and was delighted by his chapter on “The Mystery of Friendship”. He writes, “In the Celtic tradition there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world is Soul Friend… In the early Celtic Church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. Anam cara was originally someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life, you shared your innermost self, your mind and your heart.”

I have been blessed over the years with many rich and wonderful friendships. And I have had, and do have, some anam cara’s amongst them. Soul friends with whom I could share anything. For these I am grateful.

As we approach Holy Week, and hear once again the stories of Jesus and his life of deep friendships, I am struck by the depth of the relationship he enjoyed with those around him. It seems he attracted people and treasured those friendships.

Over this weekend I invite you to reflect on your friendships.

Do you have an anam cara? Has your understanding or appreciation of friendship changed over the years? Do you experience a connection between friendship and your soul?