During this Lenten season about 20 of us have been working our way through Marjorie J. Thompson’s Lenten study, Forgiveness. It is a slim volume and the study guide is brief but it has fostered great discussion over the weeks. We have one more session together this Holy Week. Some participants have said this study could go on for a much longer time as it has taken us deep into self-reflection.
We have been surprised, with Marjorie’s leading, to realize how much forgiveness is dependent on self-awareness and self-reflection. It is in knowing ourselves and in understanding our own hurt that we can move to a place of forgiveness, whether it is to forgive our self or another.
I just finished watching a three-episode BBC production called Mrs. Wilson. It is based on the true life story of the main actor’s grandmother. This woman discovered, after her husband’s death, that he was married to two other women and had fathered several children other than her two. As she digs into the mystery of her husband’s past, trying to uncover the truth, she realizes that her marriage was based on lies and deception. She seeks counsel with her priest. She asks how she can forgive someone who wronged her so. He replies, “Understanding comes first, then forgiveness.”
Understanding is not always easy when hurts are deep and conflicts are complex. Our Lenten study has shown us that the road to forgiveness is not an easy stroll but an uphill climb with sometimes more than occasional setbacks. But we have agreed that the call to forgive is deep in our faith and teaching and so is something we must work toward. Even if it is hard.
In a few days we will read the passion of Jesus where, in the midst of painful crucifixion, he asks those tormenting him to be forgiven. What stalwart commitment to the way of unconditional love. His example of pure compassion is difficult to mirror but it is important that we try.
