It is Holy Saturday. The day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The day of darkness, the day in between. It is the day between sorrow and triumph. Many of us live much of our lives in this in between time … between learning and doing, between illness and health, between happiness and sorrow, between waiting and doing. How are we sustained in the between times?
I am thinking today of Mary and Martha and the disciples, all those who followed Jesus, who ate meals with him, who listened to his stories, who walked with him to Jerusalem, who watched him on the cross, who spent the day after his crucifixion in sorrow and misunderstanding. I am thinking of their feelings of deep loss and anger and hurt and regret, all those feelings that come rushing up when a loved one dies. I am thinking of them waiting for life to return to normal, knowing that their normal would never be the same.
When someone dies it is hard to grasp hope and consolation. We feel at loose ends. We remember times long forgotten. We find it hard to trust what is real and what is in our imagining. We feel the physical impact of grief, a lump in our throat, a broken heart, a knot in our stomach. We aren’t sure what to do, we forget to eat until we are so hungry we eat quick and easy junk food and then feel worse for having done so. Instead of drinking water we resort to sugary drinks or alcohol that feel good at the moment but leave us feeling worse after. We grasp at “what if’s” and “if only’s”.
So today, this in between day, we need to take time, to be gentle with ourselves, to give time and space for all the loss we feel. And even in our not trusting we need to tell ourselves to trust. And even in our disconsolate mood we need to tell ourselves to hope. It is okay to enter into the grief of these in between times because we have a promise that is bigger than sorrow. We have a promise that we have a God who “makes all things new”. This is a God we can trust to bring a new dawn tomorrow.
Blessed Easter Saturday to you dear readers.
