Settling in an Age of Transition

Last night someone asked me how I liked my new house. I said I liked it just fine but it wasn’t really a new home anymore as I have lived there for over a year. Everyone in the room was surprised that it has been that long. Over a year? Really? It seems just yesterday you were moving – time flies and, in fact, it seems to speed up with each advancing year.

I have been thinking a lot about transitions lately. This is prompted by the fact that I have noticed that the younger generation are now treating me not so much as a peer but as an elder. This is not because I am wise it is because my body is aging. There is a new deference to me because I am older… I get offered the comfortable chair. I get assistance to get out of said comfortable chair. Young people expect less of me in terms of activity – and generally I am grateful for that. It also means I look forward to wearing comfortable shoes and don’t really care who notices. I tell myself it is okay to let the weeds grow in the garden and instead sit inside and read my book.

I had lunch with a friend on the weekend and observed that life is shifting and she quickly said, “I know and I HATE it. I don’t want to be treated like an old person. I am so frustrated that I don’t have the energy I used to have. I HATE that I have a beautiful dress to wear but have to wear running shoes otherwise my feet will hurt.” Sigh – I know exactly what she means. It is hard to settle into this new phase of life when the mind want to believe we are young and the body tells us the truth!

Transitions are hard. Accepting less ability, less strength is deflating, but it has caused me to ponder the role of the elder. In some societies eldership is valued, treasured, honoured. In our culture – not so much. We tend to idolize youth, vigour, strength, activity. What if we recognized more fully the gift of reflection, quietness, experience, wisdom? Would that make this transition to a new age easier for me and my peers? Perhaps, but even with that it is hard to recognize the passing of time, as slowly but steadily the older generation ages and dies, and I am now a member of that senior generation. Maybe the settling for me has to be considering what was important to me about my elders and then try to emulate those same gifts and offerings to the younger ones coming along. What was it about the elders of my life that I treaured and how can I offer that to the young ones who make up my network? That might be the gift of settling into this transition. Add a comment and let me know how life is going for you in the age of transition.