Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was grumpy and irritable. Had there been anyone around, which of course there wasn’t due to social isolating, and had they looked at me in a certain way, I probably would have, as the saying goes, burst into tears. I am not sure why I was in such a sour mood but I was. I think it was a build up of the anxiety of so many changes and so much fear and worry. I like being with people (most of the time) and all this time away from people is getting to me. I have also been trying to “social distance” myself from the news as the endless repeating of the Covid19 fears can create even more anxiety. I know it is important to keep informed and connected but an endless diet can cause one to go into panic overload!
Last night I gave myself a firm talking to. I told myself that I needed to, as my father would have commanded, “straighten up”. So this morning, despite the gray skies and dreary weather, I was determined to find joy. I did not have to wait long as joy came to my phone with every chime of a new text. We have a new baby! Our Syrian family, Hassan and Berivan who arrived as refugees three years ago with young daughter Pella and who 1.5 years ago welcomed Canadian-born baby Fares today brought joy into our world with another family member. A beautiful baby girl born at 10:12 weighing in a 8 pounds. During this Covid19 pandemic we have joy in the form of a wee little girl. To add to my personal joy … they have named her … Nancy. What an incredible honour for me. I am beyond words as to how touched I am by this.
So despite the ever increasing bad news. Despite the overcast skies. Despite another day by myself with nowhere to go. Despite the lists of what I should be doing and no ambition to do them. We have joy – a new baby – a birth – life in the face of fear – love in the face of chaos.
So here is what I want you to do … first, straighten up … and then make a list of what is bringing you joy this day. Here is a start … shoots of green have pushed through in the garden in the spots where the snow has melted … phone calls and emails from those who check in to make sure I am okay … a brisk walk in fresh air … time to watch those tv shows I have pvr’d …YouTube videos that make me laugh … YouTube videos that bring tears to my eyes … listening to friends sermons as they post them online … seed and bulbs catalogs in my mailbox … poetry … the dedication of health care workers who show up for work despite the risk … grocery stores that go to extra measures to keep people safe … the cry of a newborn … add yours … what ‘s bringing you joy today?
Hi Nancy
I had an evening off feeling down yesterday. For the most part I’ve been doing really well. I MEAN I’ve been in isolation for about 2 months because of my illness but at least I was able to get out to the grocery stores but I can’t do that now cause my immune system is so low and then to top it off I get a call from my doctor telling me my sodium levels are way too low and so is my protein levels are really low. It’s very frustrating cause I’ve been really working hard at getting them up and it’s not working plus the oncologist and gp don’t agree on treatment for me so that is confusing. So yeah, I had a bit of a melt down too. Today is a new day and I’m looking at my Dad’s old dating “See it through no matter how hairy it gets”. This to shall pass!
Miss you. Lynda