Last night was our third and final Chat Room for this year. This is our fifth BUC Chat Room series. It is a three-night speaker series on things ranging from theological to practical. It varies every year. It is an opportunity for adults to gather and learn and reflect on issues that matter.
This year our series focused on issues many of us would like to avoid but know are inevitable. Our first speaker, a psycologist and counselor from our town, talked about handling the stress of aging. Our second speaker, a local lawyer, talked about estate planning and making a will. Last night we had one of the funeral directors from the funeral home speak on “What I need to know to plan my funeral”. Each of the speakers has been excellent and the evenings have been informative, educational and because we always begin with dessert and coffee, delicious!
Last night when I got home I had the niggling feeling that I had missed an opportunity. You know that unsettled, there’s something in the back of my mind but I can’t quite put my finger on it kind of feeling. It felt like I had something to say that I didn’t get said. And then it dawned on me. The one thing I wanted to say when we were talking about funerals was how important they are. Oh, the discussion was wonderful with plenty of details and while we covered a lot of territory we drifted into lengthy conversation about prices and what is necessary and how it all unfolds but we didn’t talk at all about the actual funeral service. I am sorry about that. More and more I see people trying to economize (it is not cheap to die!)and I hear people say they don’t want a fuss made or they don’t want to put people through the pain. I contend that a person’s life should be marked by ritual. Big or small – it doesn’t matter. Scripture reading or poetry – it doesn’t matter (well, I want scritpure at mine!) Laughter or tears – it doesn’t matter (okay, I regularly tell people they better cry when I die!) At the beginning of his presentation, Darren, our speaker did address the importance of the funeral service and encouraged thought around it but people seemed curious to know about the practical issues – which are of course very important. And the evening flew by and before we knew it our time was up but I wish I had said how valuable the funeral ritual is to honour the life lived and to say “Thank you God for blessing us with this amazing person.” Because that is what I believe. Gratitude and grief need to be expressed.
